雙語暢銷書《我是馬拉拉》第23章:伯明翰 頭部中槍的女孩(4)
I had no idea what had happened to me and I didn't trust anyone.
If my father was fine, why wasn't he here?
如果父親安然無恙，爲什麼他不在我的身旁？I thought my parents didn't know where I was and could be searching for me in the chowks and bazaars of Mingora.
我認爲父母並不知道我身在何處，他們可能還在明戈拉各處的廣場或市集裏到處尋找我的下落。
I didn't believe my parents were safe.
我不相信我的父母都平安無事。Those first days my mind kept drifting in and out of a dream world.
住在那裏的頭幾天，我的神志總在夢境與現實之間飄來蕩去。I kept having flashbacks to lying on a bed with men around me, so many that you couldn't count, and asking, 'Where is my father?'
我不停回到同一個場景：我躺在牀上，數不清的男人包圍着我，我問他們：“我的父親在哪裏？”I thought I had been shot but wasn't sure – were these dreams or memories?
我想自己遭受了槍擊，但沒辦法確定——這些畫面到底是夢幻，還是回憶？I was obsessed by how much this must be costing.
我還不由自主地焦慮這將需要花費多少錢。The money from the awards had almost all gone on the school and buying a plot of land in our village in Shangla.
我們得獎賺來的錢都花在校務上，另外還在香拉的村子裏買了塊地。Whenever I saw the doctors talking to one another I thought they were saying, 'Malala doesn't have any money. Malala can't pay for her treatment.'
每次，當我看到醫生在跟別人說話，我就會覺得他們是在說：“馬拉拉沒有錢。馬拉拉付不起她的醫藥費。”One of the doctors was a Polish man who always looked sad.
有一名醫生是波蘭人，他的神情總是充滿哀傷。I thought he was the owner of the hospital and was unhappy because I couldn't pay.
我猜想他是醫院的老闆，因爲我付不出錢而讓他鬱鬱寡歡。So I gestured at a nurse for paper and wrote, 'Why are you sad?'
所以我比了個手勢，請護士幫我拿了張紙，然後寫道：“你在難過什麼呢？”He replied, 'No, I am not sad.'
他回答：“沒有，我沒有在難過。”'Who will pay?' I wrote. 'We don't have any money.'
“誰會付錢？”我寫，“我們家沒有錢。”'Don't worry, your government will pay,' he said.
“別擔心，你們政府會負擔。”他說。Afterwards he always smiled when he saw me.
在那次之後，他每次看到我都會面帶微笑。
