雙語暢銷書《我是馬拉拉》第5章3:無法抗拒
It wasn’t the first time. When I was little I went to the bazaar with my mother and spotted a pile of almonds on a cart. They looked so tasty that I couldn’t resist grabbing a handful. My mother told me off and apologised to the cart owner. He was furious and would not be placated. We still had little money and my mother checked her purse to see what she had. ‘Can you sell them to me for ten rupees?’ she asked. ‘No, ’ he replied. ‘Almonds are very costly.’
這不是第一次了。當我還小的時候，有一次，我和母親去市場，看到一臺裝滿杏仁的推車。杏仁看起來實在是太好吃了，我無法抗拒，伸手抓了一把。母親要我放回去，並向推車的老闆道歉。但老闆很生氣，不願就這樣罷休。我們身上只有一點錢，母親打開錢包看看還剩多少。“你願意十盧比賣給我們嗎？”她問道。“不能，”老闆回答，“杏仁是很貴的。”
My mother was very upset and told my father. He immediately went and bought the whole lot from the man and put them in a glass dish.
母親很難過，告訴了父親這件事。父親立刻出發，買下來那個老闆全部的杏仁，回來放在玻璃盤子上。
‘Almonds are good, ’ he said. ‘If you eat them with milk just before bed it makes you brainy.’ But I knew he didn’t have much money and the almonds in the dish were a reminder of my guilt. I promised myself I’d never do such a thing again. And now I had. My mother took me to say sorry to Safina and her parents. It was very hard. Safina said nothing about my phone, which didn’t seem fair, but I didn’t mention it either.
“杏仁是很好的食物，”他說，“睡前吃杏仁配牛奶，會讓你變得聰明。”但我知道父親沒什麼錢，而盤裏的杏仁是用來提醒我犯下的錯。我跟自己約定決不再犯同樣的錯誤。結果，我卻又犯了。母親帶我去向薩芬娜和她的父母道歉。這真的很難。薩芬娜對我的手機的事情隻字未提，雖然很不公平，但我也什麼都沒說。
Though I felt bad, I was also relieved it was over. Since that day I have never lied or stolen. Not a single lie nor a single penny, not even the coins my father leaves around the house, which we’re allowed to buy snacks with. I also stopped wearing jewellery because I asked myself, What are these baubles which tempt me? Why should I lose my character for a few metal trinkets? But I still feel guilty, and to this day I say sorry to God in my prayers.
雖然我感覺糟透了，但我相信這一切已經結束。從那天起，我再也沒有說過謊或偷過東西，連父親留在家裏讓我們買零食的硬幣，我也沒拿過。我也開始不再佩戴珠寶了，因爲我問我自己：這些吸引你的小玩意兒是什麼？爲什麼要爲了這些不值錢的小首飾，丟了自己的人格？但我還是滿心罪惡感，直至今日，我仍每天在禱告中向真主道歉。
My mother and father tell each other everything so Aba soon found out why I was so sad. I could see in his eyes that I had failed him. I wanted him to be proud of me, like he was when I was presented with the first-in-year trophies at school. Or the day our kindergarten teacher Miss Ulfat told him I had written, ‘Only Speak in Urdu, ’ on the blackboard for my classmates at the start of an Urdu lesson so we would learn the language faster.
我的父母每天都會向對方訴說一切，所以很快，父親就知道了我心情不佳的原因。從他的眼中，我明白我讓他失望了。我多麼想讓他繼續爲我感到驕傲，就像我在學校裏獲得年度第一名獎狀的時候；或是像我的幼兒園老師烏爾菲特小姐告訴他的，在班上開始學烏爾都語時，我在黑板上寫下“請只講烏爾都語”，以便大家能更快地學習這門語言。
