女人惹煩男人的雷區—你中了幾個?
Here's a recent snippet of conversation from my own : “How do you think I look in this?” Me: “You look great.” Her: “I look terrible, I’m changing.”This sort of thing really annoys me. Why ask if you’ve already made up your mind? Why be so hard on yourself (you genuinely look great)? Why are we going through this charade now when the train leaves in 15 minutes?There are a lot of little things women do that annoy their long suffering menfolk (and vice versa, of course). They’re not really a Big Deal. They don’t really matter. They’re just kinda if you don’t believe me, believe this. When someone opened a thread on Reddit asking what annoying things girlfriends did, it had 25,000 posts within 24 hours. So here, in handy pictorial form, are the those little things she does that annoy us most of all.
這是我和她在現實生活中的一段真實的對話。她問“你覺得我看起來怎樣？”我答“你看起來好極了。”她說“我看起來很糟糕，我都變樣了。”這樣的對話真的讓我很煩。你自己有想法了，爲什麼還要來問我？爲什麼那麼在乎你自己看起來怎樣？（你其實看起來真的很不錯）爲什麼在火車還有15分鐘就要開走的時候跟我打這樣的啞謎。現實生活中，女人做的一些小事真的會讓她們的男人煩（當然，男人做的一些小事也讓女人煩），那些讓男人煩的事一般都是些小事，但是就是很讓人抓狂。要相信，當媒體關注到底女人什麼行爲讓男人們最接受不了時，寄信來投訴的男人絡繹不絕的，24小時內就收到了25000封郵件。所以，今天我們一一列舉出那些女人最讓男人受不了的行爲。
One Reddit user posted that, during the first three minutes of a film, when a new character comes on screen, his girlfriend will ask, “who’s that?”’s one way this movie-based irritation manifests itself, but there are plenty of others. Some women just love to talk through films, asking why, what, where or when at the most inappropriate moments. Others will audibly squeal at the scary bits and giggle uncontrollably - in the cinema - during mildly amusing interludes. Most annoyingly, they’ll assume you know what’s going to happen in films you’ve never seen before, and ask things like: “he will be OK, won’t he?”
一位先生在信中提到關於他的故事，電影纔開始三分鐘，當一個演員出現在屏幕上時，他女朋友就開始發問“他是誰？”以電影情節爲基礎的騷擾就這樣解開了帷幕，接下來的時間要回答類似的一大堆這樣的問題。一些女人喜歡在看電影的時候議論，在不恰當的時候提一些類似於“爲什麼”、“怎麼樣”、“哪裏”、“什麼時候”的問題。還有些女人喜歡在看電影時尖叫或大笑。最讓人煩的是她們會猜想你知道所有情節，然後問你“他會沒事的，對吧？”
Women, we reckon, can be weirdly jealous. We don’t mean the sort of justifiable jealousy that comes with finding out you’ve been contacting your ex on Facebook. We mean the sort of jealousy that makes Scarlett Johansson or Lady GaGa a threat just because you mention they look nice in a photo.“So what - exactly - does she have that I don’t?” is one deeply irritating response (and don't even think about replying truthfully). Even worse is the moment, three weeks later - with your original transgression all but forgotten (you thought) - when she points to a picture in a tabloid and says something like: “Not looking too good without her makeup, is she? You know, your favourite woman.”
我們猜想女性是很喜歡吃醋的，當然不是講那種你和前女友網聊，讓現女友擒個正着的那種吃醋。我們的意思是，吃飛醋，就因爲你對她講雷迪嘎嘎或是嘉斯麗看起來不錯。“那你說說，到底什麼是她有而我不具備的。”她這麼雷人地回答你。（你千萬別想着姚老師回答這樣的問題）然後時態在三週後變得更糟糕：你以爲事情就這樣慢慢平息了，慢慢也把這事給忘了。她卻拿了她們的海報然後指着對你說“她要不化妝就不行了，是吧？你知道的，她是你最愛的女人嘛。”
It’s not just that she says yes to something but means no, it’s that she says yes to something and then makes it really, really, obvious she means no, without ever actually saying e:Him: “Do you mind if I go to the pub with a few of the lads tonight?” Her: “Of course not. I’ll just hang around here and, you know, find something to do.”
不還僅僅是因爲她說“同意”的時候，其實想說的是“不同意”；更厲害的是，她還會在說“同意”的時候，那麼傳神的表達自己相反的意思，讓你接收到的信息卻是“不同意”。如果你問：“你介不介意我今晚和幾個哥們去酒吧玩一下？”她的回答：“當然不介意啊，我會就呆在家，自己找點事情做打發時間。”
Many of us think our wives or girlfriends are on the phone way too much. And when we say “on the phone” these days we also mean texting, WhatsApping, Facebooking and all the other stuff that means that when we ask her something she ignores us for a full ten minutes. When we press for an answer she snaps back: “Oh just hang on for a minute will you! I have to reply to this.”And then when we’re apart, and we text her, it takes her two and a half hours to reply.
很多男人都認爲自己的妻子或女友太愛煲電話粥。當然不止是煲電話粥，包括短信、QQ、微博等一切聊天工具。這時，當我們向她們詢問事情的時候，她們可以拖10分鐘再回答。當我們在這個過程中追問，她們會不耐煩的說：“等一分鐘不行啊，我要把這個回答了才行。”但是，當我們和她們分開時，發一條信息給她，要等上兩個半小時纔有迴音。
Women love compliments - for the first year or two of a relationship. And then they still love compliments, but never from you. Here are three annoying but all-too-common replies to the simple and affectionate statement: “You’re looking lovely tonight, sweetheart”.“Are you mad. I look terrible. No wonder I can’t trust anything you say.” “Ah, thanks, that’s sweet. What do you want?” “Oh come on, you’re a man, you’d fancy anything in a short skirt.”The usual follow-up to such an exchange, delivered a few weeks later, is this:“You never give me compliments anymore.”
在戀愛一兩年時間裏，女人喜歡被自己被恭維。接下來她們還是喜歡被恭維，但是是被別人恭維。舉幾個很尋常的例子。男：“親愛的，你今晚看起來很美。”女：“你沒毛病吧，我今天看起來這麼糟，我纔不信你呢。”男：“哦，那你想我怎麼說？” 女：“得了吧，你是個男人，只要穿短裙，你都覺得好。”往往在這樣的對話以後的幾周時間裏，你會得到她這樣的反饋：“你就不會對我說點好聽的嗎？”
“What would you like to do tonight, hon?” she asks, in what will turn out to be a mockery of the democratic process. “Shall we go to the cinema or to that new restaurant on the high street?”“Oh I really fancy the film, it’s had great reviews,” you reply.“No, let’s go to the new restaurant.”You now know that the success of the evening depends on going to the new restaurant. So you go to the new restaurant.
“老公，今晚想想去哪裏？”她問到。在這之後家庭內部的民主大戲就上演了。“我們可以去看電影，也可以去街上新開的一家飯館。”她建議。“我更願意去看電影。”男人如是說。她的結論：“不，還是去飯館的好。” 這時候，作爲男人，你知道今晚與不愉快取決於你去不去飯館，於是，你跟她去了飯館。
One Reddit user posted, “she gets upset by things that happen in dreams” and he’s right. Many’s the man who has had to endure a silent breakfast after betraying his girlfriend with her friend, her boss or indeed Scarlett Johansson - in the dream she had last ’s not just dreams, though. It’s tarot cards, angel cards, Ouija boards, psychics, astrology and everything else too. Some people will actually act on the stuff told them by an old woman in a floaty dress who sees 'the future' (i.e. a pile of cash) in the arrangement of tea leaves at the bottom of the cup or the cracks in a cheap glass ball. Some women will make you feel bad about things you are going to do in five years ice to say, a partner’s belief in the ability of anyone or anything to predict any event beyond breakfast is really, really annoying.
有讀者寄來信說“女人會因爲自己的夢而遷怒於自己。”他也許是對的。許多男朋友們在吃早飯得時候大氣不敢出，原因是他在自己女友的夢裏和女友的好朋友或是那個明星亂搞了。不僅是夢，女人也相信塔羅牌、通靈板、天使牌、占星術等。與多人甚至相信那些能標榜自己能看到未來的老巫婆（也就是交錢算命）。搞些什麼迷魂湯和水晶球之類的東西。有些女人甚至會將5年以後會發生的事來和你說事。我只是想說，那些拿不可預知的未來說事的愛人們真的是很煩、很煩。
