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5種方法搞定一段異地戀雙語美文

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5種方法搞定一段異地戀雙語美文

  How to survive a Long-distance relationship

該篇文章來自於一位會說中文的英國人---混血Laura,她是英國Promise Corp有限公司的初級顧問,曾喜歡在自己的微信平臺上答疑解惑,蒐集網友的各類生活學習情感問題,之後給出相應的建議。有位網友曾向她發問:Hey, Laura, would you please give any piece of advice on long-distance relationship? 之後Laura結合她曾做過的research以及個人經歷,給出瞭如下建議。這些都是絕好戀愛指南,值得大家好好學習哦!

  1. Build Closeness across the Distance

A big threat in LDR is the physical distance turning into an emotional distance. When you and your partner are far away from each other and do not share your lives, it is very easy to grow apart and fall out of love. There are a few actions you both can take to work.against this happening.

“距離產生美”這句俗話,有的時候在異地戀情侶這裏不是很好用哦。所以Laura給出了一些做法來打敗因距離而產生的隔閡。

Language Notes:

grow apart: to stop having a close relationship with somebody over a period of time. 例如:

As we got older we just grew apart.

Since moving to London, he’s grown apart from many of his friends.

1.1 Regular Communication

The absolute key is regular communication. I speak with my husband every single day multiple times, usually we video chat in the evening and during the day we send some messages via apps. Whenever anything exciting or bad happens, he is the first person I will message (or call if possible) and this way he stays involved in my life. Many LDRs I know started out fine and then suddenly communication got less and less until it was only once a week. If this is happening to you, you need to ask yourself (and your partner) if the relationship is over, as you two are obviously drifting apart.

保持聯絡是關鍵,讓對方參與到自己的生活,分享快樂和喜悅。

Language Notes:

drift apart:to become less friendly or close to somebody,“漸漸疏遠”,例如:

As children we were very close, but as we grew up we just drifted apart.

1.1 Do Things Together Apart

The best way to keep that emotional connection is by doing things together, even if you are not in the same place. Video chat is a godsend for this. For example, you can cook together using video chat, each person making their own meal. Or you can both agree to watch your favorite TV shows at the same time. I think it is a great idea, though we have not yet done that, because it creates that normality of when you were living together.

Another great option is falling asleep together, or one of you falling asleep while the other stares at them creepily, haha. We have done this a few times and I have to say it is magical. It creates a really strong bond. Watching my husband sleep away peacefully like an innocent little baby is one of the most gratifying experiences video chat has to offer.

Finally, you can create a new bond by learning something new together, something that you can share and ideally it is connected to online. I have not done this before but I think it is a great idea and I now plan on learning Cantonese with my husband to test this out. He recently moved to Shenzhen and I have been wanting to continue my Cantonese classes for a while now. Let’s see how that goes!

藉助科技的力量,跟自己的另一半在兩個空間做同樣的事情,聽着就很浪漫不是麼!

Language Notes:

Godsend: something good that happens unexpectedly and helps somebody/ something when they need help. 我們可以理解爲“天賜之物”,例如:

This new benefit has come as a godsend for low-income families.

Bond: something that forms a connection between people or groups, such as a feeling of friendship or shared ideas and experiences. 例如:

A bond of friendship had been forged between them.

The bond between mother and child is really special.

  2. 100% Trust

The first and most important condition for any long-distance relationship is trust. When you and your partner are in different places, a lot of the time you do not know what the other person is doing, so you need to be able to believe that your partner is not messing about. If anything has ever happened in your relationship to make you suspicious of your partner, e.g. they flirted with or kissed someone else, then do not even attempt an LDR (long-distance relationship), as you will go crazy with worry and jealousy and it will most certainly end badly.

百分之百的信任肯定是前提,Laura說如果做不到完全信任你的partner,隨時都在猜疑對方,那麼你真的不適合異地戀。

Language Notes:

Mess about/around with somebody: to have a sexual relationship with somebody, especially when you should not.

因爲Laura是英國人,所以她使用的是英式用法mess about。還有一個短語跟它有類似的意思,就是fool around with somebody,例如:She’s been fooling around with a married man.

Crazy: very angry

大家第一次接觸這個形容詞的時候,可能它的意思是“瘋掉的,失去理智的”,但是它在口語裏更常見的兩個意思還有“十分生氣”和“對某事物充滿激情”。例如:

That noise is driving me crazy.

He went crazy, and smashed the room up.

The crowd went crazy when the band came on stage.

You’re so beautiful you’re driving me crazy.

  3. When you Meet

Of course it goes without saying that you should meet your partner in person as often as possible within your financial possibilities. If you are in the same province you might be able to meet every two weeks, same country maybe once a month. If you are on different continents it obviously gets trickier than that. When you do meet, make sure to keep a few things in mind.

異地戀也得常見面啊!不然戀着戀着就變成最熟悉的陌生人了……

3.1 Prioritize Your Partner

Your partner has just come all the way to meet you and the two of you only have a limited amount of time together. You have to prioritize spending time with your partner over anything else. After all there is nothing more frustrating than taking a plane to see someone only to be told “Honey, I am hanging out with my friends tonight. See you later.” That might be the last time Honey comes to see you, my friend. Don’t waste people’s time like that.

只要你的另一半跋山涉水來找你,Ta就一定得是你的first priority,別的啥都不好使!

3.2 Be Realistic

When you are unable to spend a lot of time together you often expect the little time you have to be super exciting and magical. Like a Disney movie. All fireworks and Happily Ever After. In reality, that is rarely the case. You are just human and very likely you will disagree on something or other. Going into these meetings with unrealistic expectations can set the bar too high and cause disappointment and unnecessary conflict.

不要有不切實際的幻想,這樣希望越大,失望越大哦!

Language Notes:

Set the bar: to set a standard of quality or performance.“設定標準”,例如:

The show really sets the bar for artistic invention.

Sofia sets the bar very high for what she expects of herself.

3.3 Build Rituals

Actually, rather than planning an amazing bombastic meeting, you should be focusing on building rituals. For example, you always go to have lunch at that same restaurant the first day after you arrive in your partner’s town. This creates a routine and a feeling that you are still a “regular couple”, and gives you a sense of security and familiarity.

要跟partner之間約定一個見面後的慣例,這樣可以給對方安全感哦!

  4. Appreciate the Advantages

I personally believe that the attitude with which you go into the LDR makes a huge difference. If all you are thinking is about how your partner is so far away and how lonely you are and how little you see each other, you will make yourself unhappy. Instead, enjoy the free time and space that you have now gained. Take up new hobbies; rediscover yourself as an individual person. Meet new people and expand your network.

By leading an independent life and becoming a more interesting person you will become even more attractive to your partner as well. After all, would you rather date the exciting person who paints or runs marathons in their free time and keeps telling you funny stories about their friends, OR the mopey, sad depressed person who sits at home just waiting for your call to tell you how unhappy they are?

異地戀的情侶,要有獨立的人格,不要過分依賴對方,把另一半當成是自己的全部世界。把自己變成更有趣的人,遠方的Ta纔會對你愛不釋手。

Language Notes:

Take up: to learn or start to do something, especially for pleasure. 例如:

They’ve taken up golf.

She has taken up the oboe. = She started to learn to play the oboe.

5. Make Plans for the Future

Finally, while I do believe LDRs can work with the right mind-set, they should ideally be only a temporary solution rather than a long-term situation. In order to give both of you the mental strength to pull this off, you need to have a finish line.

Make plans for the future, this will bring you closer together and show your partner that you are taking this seriously. This will also help in motivating you as it will give you a goal to work towards, e.g. if you are studying, after graduation the two of you can be together.

異地戀的兩個人,千萬不要忘記要爲未來打算啊!讓雙方都有努力的奔頭,相信在未來的某個時間,兩個人就會團圓了!

Language Notes:

Pull something off: to succeed in doing something difficult. 例如:

We pulled off the deal.

I never thought you’d pull it off.

Most of all, stay positive and talk. Talk lots. Not just about how your day was but about thoughts, feelings, and wishes for the future. I know many men are not keen on this but it is really important. Trust me.

Good luck! You can bridge the distance!

一定要聊天,不是“你吃了麼”那種沒營養的,而是要真的交心的聊天,這樣才能保證即便兩個人在不同的地方分別成長,也可以保持同樣的價值觀和奮鬥目標。

希望此文可以幫助跟鼓勵到正身處異地戀的孩子們。當然,要是覺得裏面的意見不適合你,咱們也可以順便跟Laura學學英文嘛。

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