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戀愛中自私的表現

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1. You expect your partner to listen to you vent but you don't offer the same in return.
1. 你希望另一半聽你發牢騷,但卻不能相同以報。

One of the best reasons to be in an intimate relationship is that we have someone to tell our troubles to, who will take our side when the world feels harsh. That feeling of being understood and accepted is what intimacy is about. If you become immediately bored, or act like your partner is a drag when he or she starts to tell you about their bad day, it's like slamming an emotional door in their face. Even if your partner doesn't protest, it's still a recipe for loneliness in a relationship.

爲什麼要談一段親密戀情?原因之一就是:當我們遇到麻煩時會有人傾聽,當世界"虐"我百遍時,會有人站在我身邊。如果當另一半開始談起他/她這一天的不順而你卻立即表現出興致缺缺,或覺得他/她很掃興時,這無異於你當着他/她的面'砰'地一聲關上感情之門。即使你的另一半並未因此抗議,這依然會導致你們相戀卻孤寂。

padding-bottom: 65.62%;">戀愛中自私的表現

2. You give your partner the silent treatment instead of tackling difficult conversations in a mature way.
2. 爭吵時,你沉默不語,而非以一種成熟的方式解決問題。

It is self-centered to not make an attempt to communicate when you are hurt or angry at your partner. Tough conversations often come up in a romantic relationship. You put your partner through a lot of distress when you refuse to talk.
當你被另一半所傷,或非常生他/她氣時,不主動溝通是一種自我的表現。談戀愛難免會有爭吵,若拒絕溝通,另一半會非常傷心。

3. You insist that your perspective is the correct one - on everything.
3. 在任何方面,你都堅持認爲你的觀點是對的。

This is a definite red flag indicating a strong degree of selfishness. If you find yourself always giving weight to only your own point of view, you are setting your relationship up to fail. What you are really saying to your partner is that you are really only in this relationship to get your own needs meet, with little or no consideration for the needs of your partner. If that's the case, you really aren't a partner at all.
這絕對是強烈自私慾的一種表現。如果你總是強調自己的觀點,那你的戀情必定失敗。因爲你向另一半表達出的意思是:你談這段感情的目的只是爲了滿足自己的需要,幾乎或完全不考慮另一半的需要。若果真如此,那你根本不適合談戀愛。

4. When you don't get your way, you threaten to end the relationship - even if you don't mean it.
4. 如果事情不如你意,你就會威脅另一半分手--即使你的本意並非如此。

Even in the very best of relationships, none of us is always going to get what we need. If you spend your time threatening to leave your partner, how can they ever grow to trust that it isn't always going to be about you and your needs? Someone who genuinely loves their partner is going to be mature enough and have enough self-awareness to know that it is extremely hurtful to threaten to abandon someone we love just because we don't get our way.
即便在最完美的感情關係中,也沒有人總是得到自己想要的。如果你威脅另一半要離開他/她,他們怎麼才能相信你,是不是又是因爲未能滿足你的需求才唱了這場分手戲?真正愛另一半的人會足夠成熟、足夠自知:只是因爲事情不如所願而威脅另一半分手,是非常傷人的!

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