美國人的婚姻方式

The American Way: Marriage

美國人的婚姻方式

[1] "I do." To Americans those two words carry great meaning. They can even change your life. Especially if you say them at your own wedding. Making wedding vows is like signing a contract. Now Americans don't really think marriage is a business deal. But marriage is serious business.

[2] It all begins with engagement. Traditionally, a young man asks the father of his sweetheart for permission to marry her. If the father agrees, the man later proposes to her. Often he tries to surprise her by "popping the question" in a romantic way. Sometimes the couple just decides together that the time is right to get married. The man usually gives his fiancée a diamond ring as a symbol of their engagement. They may be engaged for weeks, months or even years. As the big day approaches, bridal showers and bachelor's parties provide many useful gifts. Today many couples also receive counseling during engagement. This prepares them for the challenges of married life.

[3] At last it's time for the wedding. Although most weddings follow long-held traditions, there's still room for American individualism. For example, the usual place for a wedding is in a church. But some people get married outdoors in a scenic spot. A few even have the ceremony while sky-diving or riding on horseback! The couple may invite hundreds of people or just a few close friends. They choose their own style of colors, decorations and music during the ceremony. But some things rarely change. The bride usually wears a beautiful, long white wedding dress. She traditionally wears "something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue". The groom wears a formal suit or tuxedo. Several close friends participate in the ceremony as attendants, including the best man and the maid of honor

[4] As the ceremony begins, the groom and his attendants stand with the minister, facing the audience. Music signals the entrance of the bride's attendants, followed by the beautiful bride. Nervously, the young couple repeats their vows. Traditionally, they promise to love each other "for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health". But sometimes the couple has composed their own vows. They give each other a gold ring to symbolize their marriage commitment. Finally the minister announces the big moment: "I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss your bride!"

[5] At the wedding reception, the bride and groom greet their guests. Then they cut the wedding cake and feed each other a bite. Guests mingle while enjoying cake, punch and other treats. Later the bride throws her bouquet of flowers to a group of single girls. Tradition says that the one who catches the bouquet will be the next to marry. During the reception, playful friends "decorate" the couple's car with tissue paper, tin cans and a "Just Married" sign. When the reception is over, the newlyweds run to their "decorated" car and speed off. Many couples take a honeymoon, a one- to two-week vacation trip, to celebrate their new marriage.

[6] Almost every culture has rituals to signal a change in one's life. Marriage is one of the most basic life changes for people of all cultures. So it's no surprise to find many traditions about getting married... even in America. Yet each couple follows the traditions in a way that is uniquely their own.

[1]“我願意。”這句話對美國人來說包含深遠的意義。它甚至可以改變一個人的生活，特別是如果你在自己的婚禮上說出這句話。發出結婚誓言就如同簽訂契約一般。雖然今天美國人並不真正認爲婚姻是一宗商業交易，但婚姻確實是件嚴肅的事。

[2]一切從訂婚開始。在傳統上，年輕男子先要請求女朋友的父親允許自己娶她。如果女方的父親答應，然後男方纔能向女方求婚。男方時常嘗試以羅曼蒂克的方式“蹦出這個問題”，想給女方一個驚喜。有時雙方只是一起決定，該是結婚的時候了。男方通常會送給未婚妻一隻鑽石戒指作爲訂婚的象徵。訂婚期可以持續幾個星期、幾個月，甚至幾年。當大喜的日子臨近時，雙方各自的好友在婚前派對上會贈送許多實用的禮物。今天，許多未婚夫妻在訂婚期間還聽取諮詢意見，以此爲應付婚姻生活的挑戰作好準備。

[3]最後就該舉行婚禮了。雖然大多數的婚禮沿襲長期以來的傳統，但是仍有發揮美國人的個性主義的餘地。例如，通常舉行婚禮的地點是在教堂，但是有些人卻在戶外的風景點舉行婚禮，少數人甚至在跳傘或騎馬時舉辦儀式！新人可以邀請幾百個客人，也可以只邀請幾個最要好的朋友。婚禮的色調風格、佈置和音樂都由他們自己決定。但有些事情很少會變化。新娘通常都穿一件漂亮的長長的白色結婚禮服。按傳統習慣，新娘的穿着要包括“一點舊的，一點新的，一點借來的和一點藍色的東西”。新郎則穿着一套正式的西裝或無尾晚禮服。幾位親密的朋友參與婚禮作爲陪伴，包括伴郎和伴娘。

[4]婚禮開始時，新郎和他的陪伴同牧師站在一起，面對着來賓。當音樂響起時，新娘的陪伴入場，後面就跟着美麗的新娘。一對新人緊張地跟着說出他們的誓言。按傳統習慣，雙方許諾要彼此相愛，“不論情況較好較壞，不論家境是富是窮，不論生病還是健康。”但有時兩人也可以編一套自己的誓言。他們互贈金戒指象徵婚姻的承諾。最後，牧師宣佈重大時刻的到來：“我現在宣佈你們成爲夫妻。你可以親吻你的新娘！”

[5]在結婚喜宴上，新娘和新郎向賓客表示歡迎。然後他們切開結婚蛋糕並互喂對方一口。來賓們一邊享受蛋糕、混合飲料和其他食物，一邊相互交談。之後，新娘將她的花束投向一羣單身女孩。相傳抓到花束的女孩會成爲下一個結婚的人。喜宴期間，愛鬧的朋友用薄紙、錫罐和寫着“新婚”的標牌來“裝飾”新人的小汽車。宴會結束後，新婚的小倆口就跑向他們“被裝飾好的”小汽車，迅速地駛走。許多新人會去度蜜月，即一兩個星期的度假旅行，以慶祝他們的新婚。

[6]幾乎每一種文化都有儀式來標誌一個人生活的變化。婚姻對於各種文化的人而言都是最基本的生活變化之一。因此發現關於結婚有許多傳統習俗，就不足爲奇了……在美國也不例外。然而每對新人都會以自己獨持的方式來繼承傳統。